p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
PANTIES FOUND
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