I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
do herpes really smell.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
