the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
