This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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