they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I have already put on my inside pants.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
