Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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