Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
