i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
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You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
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I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize