I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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