So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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