Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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