I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
