whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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