I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
