Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
