I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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