I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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