In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize