Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize