Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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