I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
