omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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