we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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