Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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