Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
