I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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