we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
