she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
