you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
