Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
