Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
