If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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