I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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