She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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