I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
