drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
it's like iHOP with fire
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
