Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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