Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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