you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
