is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
