She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
