she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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