are you so shy because you have an std?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
