I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
