Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
