Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
