Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i've created a new STD.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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