The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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