ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
