Im at strip club and am horny
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
