Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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