dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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